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Seat Obsession - The Glory of the Chair

I've been making recent efforts to not sit when it seems over-indulgent. Recent studies reveal that we are in a very real way cutting years off of our life due to over-sitting. This sedentary death posture is unavoidable to a point. There is a justifiable measure of body leisure one must accept in the society we live in. It is the ridiculous times of squatting that I aim to embarrass. 

Think with me for a moment; consider the amount of time we already sit. Why not take advantage of opportunities that allow us to position our bodies in an upright and tall shape? Standing has been reduced to a necessity of relocation. We walk reluctantly to move ourselves to yet another squatting station.

Consider air travel. We waddle to the car with luggage where we sit. We slouch in cushioned cups of leather for 45 minutes mindful of the impending walk through the terminal. We arrive at the gate having endured the sapping pilgrimage  (our walk of a 150 yards through an air-conditioned hallway) looking intently for seats and refreshments. We locate the most comfortable human slouch container available to us and collapse into the arms of our savior. 

This makes perfectly good sense to spend the next hour or two sitting as we are about to board an aircraft where we will have no choice but to sit for another two to three hours.  I say stand at the gate. However, I don’t recommend pacing as I have found that it makes other travelers nervous and suspicious.  

Theaters are classic of course as they provide a sea of cushions and arm rests. We arrive early to the summer blockbuster and the line snakes through the hallway. You will be waiting outside of the epic seat center for at least an hour. Scores of people seated along the wall waiting to stand briefly and then sit again for hours.  You see the ridiculous nature of our laziness of course. The work of simply standing for an hour seems daunting.  

Another great place to witness this ultimate lethargy are restaurant lobbies. We arrive at our favorite eatery on Friday night after sitting all day and are informed of a 30 minute wait. Oh my god, maintaining an erect posture for over 30 minutes seems insane when surrounded by such impotent backs. The upholstered lounge benches must be found. I must rest this body before I feed it. Our commitment to arched back and rested feet is staggering.

The American’s foot can’t even sustain any significant amount of pressure these days without bruising. A brief moment upon our feet and we imagine ourselves to be suffering. Given the trend our feet will ultimately evolve into fatty cushions with which we scoot around on. 

Parting note: The measure of my judgment has limits of course as I wish to preserve my hypocrisy. This lack of full commitment on my part also provides you, the reader, a certain amount of comfort and excuse to ignore me. Odds are you are in a seated position right now. 

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